She sang in the choir, played the piano, ran the Sunday School, the Cubs and the Youth Group; she baked for the bake sales, acted in the drama group, visited the shut-ins, taught art to the mentally-handicapped. In my mother’s view, if you were going to be a Christian you had to be A REAL CHRISTIAN. Jesus alone was the answer to all human need and without Him you would go astray. She was not a Christian nagger, but she was clear in her convictions. She lived her faith and she stood up for what she believed.

I did not make "a personal commitment to Jesus" until I was 21, although I always went to church. During my teens I had begun to realize my relationship with Jesus was very external and impersonal. At Baptist Youth Camp I saw other teens who were fervent and excited about Jesus. Christian faith was a dynamic force in their life and I longed to have that same powerful sense of loving and being loved by Christ. The main problem was I did not want to surrender myself fully to God. I had the clear conviction that faith meant surrender and deep faith meant deep surrender. To really know Jesus I would have to give up all of my personal plans and preferences, I would have to surrender my future to him, my personality to him. And I was not yet ready to do this.

Five years later, however, I was ready. I was in Scotland and had just flunked my first year of Architecture School (architecture was my only career ambition). At that point, finally, I surrendered my life to God. "Jesus, I have tried to shape a future for myself and have failed. So now I give myself to you. Show me what you want me to do."

Back in Canada I resumed my university studies but now my real interest was the Christian faith. I involved myself with various Protestant groups. I read and I wrote and I tried to pray. And by the time I had finished my BA I had decided to become a Catholic.

Why ? My historical studies had persuaded me that Protestant Christianity was insufficient, incomplete. I compared my own local Baptist Church to the Christian experience reflected in European history and literature and saw that too many things were missing in my church. There was no sacramental system, no devotions, no art, no academic tradition, no awareness of history. Despite all of its strangeness, I saw that the Catholic Church possessed a deeper share in the fullness of Christian life.

So it was I became a Catholic at the age of 24. And from there, the path to the seminary (three years later) didn’t seem so long. More study, more writing and more prayer, but once I was on that Jesus path it did not seem far to travel - from my first surrender of faith …to entry into the Catholic Church …to sharing in the priesthood of Jesus Christ.




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